Humor
President Bush wanted to use a local church for a photo op.
Bush's advance person said to the pastor, "We will make a $10,000 contribution to your church if, during your introduction of the President, you say he is a saint."
The pastor agreed to do so and accepted the $10,000 contribution.
When the pastor introduced the President before a nationally televised audience, the pastor said, "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and nitwit. He stole the 2000 election. He has polarized the country. He has politicized science. He lied about his military record. He invaded a country for oil and had the gall to land on an aircraft carrier and pose before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He continues to blur the line between church and state. Cronyism and corruption are rampant in his administration. He is the worst example of a Christian I've ever personally known.
But, compared to Dick Cheney, George Bush is a saint!
Short laughs & quips
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put
your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear,
"Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this
been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please!
I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything
like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down
on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead,
"Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really
desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing
about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all
his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated
guess.
Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some
certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Bush's advance person said to the pastor, "We will make a $10,000 contribution to your church if, during your introduction of the President, you say he is a saint."
The pastor agreed to do so and accepted the $10,000 contribution.
When the pastor introduced the President before a nationally televised audience, the pastor said, "George Bush is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite and nitwit. He stole the 2000 election. He has polarized the country. He has politicized science. He lied about his military record. He invaded a country for oil and had the gall to land on an aircraft carrier and pose before a banner stating 'Mission Accomplished.' He continues to blur the line between church and state. Cronyism and corruption are rampant in his administration. He is the worst example of a Christian I've ever personally known.
But, compared to Dick Cheney, George Bush is a saint!
Short laughs & quips
Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put
your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear,
"Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this
been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please!
I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything
like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down
on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead,
"Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really
desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing
about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all
his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated
guess.
Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some
certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
Ken Pekarek Sr. "We Must Preserve Our Heritage and Constitution"
bravenet.com